HELP...

I'm trying my best to be the perfect girlfriend and wife-to-be but there is always something I do that is just not right. I just don't understand where I'm going wrong. I don't cheat. Never ever thought of cheating on the person I love. I try to be understanding but sometimes trying to be understading turns the other way. Why does that happen? I think of him but he thinks that what I do, my actions, are not. Is it wrong not to call him coz afraid that I will disturb his slumber? Is it wrong for me not to call him too often to avoid from the bills getting too high? Almost everything I do I will think of him first. But why with what I do, we always get into fights? Why? I just don't understand. Someone pls explain what I'm doing wrong. I'm in need of some HELP! Pls, I'm getting more and more frustrated each day...

UPSI

After 4 months not writing in my blog, aku skrg saja2 nak curi masa mengupdate kisah kehidupan ku ini. Sebenarnya, aku nie kne buat kje, fail meja untuk kerja baru ku (yang x berapa baru). 2 Disember lepas, genap 1 month aku kje di UPSI. Sambilan je sbg Penolong Pendaftar department Institut Pengajian Siswazah. Yang CANTEK ttg kje aku nie, aku xde staff! aku la tukang fotostat, tukang type, tukang tulis surat, tukang utus surat (naseb ada along,dia tlg), tukang talipon lecturer2 untuk booking flight, hotel dsb, tukang jadi org tengah antara MARA Bangi, MARA Jawi, dan juga UMT, dan semua lah! Tp, alhamdulillah, setakat ini aku leh handle all the hassle and thanks to the staff (staff N41 yang lain) kerana banyak tlg aku dimasa aku blur dan kesuntukan masa, lagi2 masa nak hari pendaftaran kt Jawi dlm 2,3 minggu lepas...

Ha, pasal pendaftaran tu, kje hari Ahad and aku nie di bayar gaji hari dimana kalau g kje, dpt gaji,xg kje maka xdapat la gaji. Bayangkan aku g kje hari Ahad tu, kt Jawi, abis minyak kereta semua and bila balik dan tnye, aku xdpt claim gaji aku hari Ahad itu. Tidakkah pelik? So aku kje dgn "ikhlas" lah kalau hari2 hujung minggu nie? Skali nie aku x kisah la sgt tp dgr khabar nnti bulan 1 nie, aku akan kje hari Sabtu dan Ahad untuk 3 bulan (selang2 seminggu) untuk Program Bina Insan Guru. So adakah aku akan berkerja free pada masa itu juga? Tidakkah aku juga terasa penat? UPSI, UPSI, apa pasal la peraturan sgt bengong? And then, when my dad knew about this, abis la, marah la dia. Aku ok la, xde la kisah sgt tp when my mom ckp if kje luar and they x iktiraf i kje (sbb xbayar gaji hari tersebut), kalau i accident tgh jalan on the way nk pegi kje pun diorg tidak akan menanggung kecelakaan ku itu. Tertakut la jugak. Kalau tempang kaki ku krg, sia2 je kje n UPSI xmo tanggung. But xpe lah, tgk la what my dad says nnti. Silap hari bulan, dia suh aku brenti hahahaha...

Next up, PTD Assessment! Sape yang baca ini, tlg la doakan i ye. I heard ramai org terkandas kt sini so im not putting my hopes up too high. I will berusaha and put the rest in HIS hands. I have no idea what or how to prepare. All i know is i have to tingkatkan stamina sbb ada lari2 and i HATE running! Adeh! And dgr kata ada jugak public speaking both in malay and english. Public speaking ok kot tp isi?! Adeh! Dah la mmg out bab2 isu semasa nie! Adeh! Pape pun, aku akan terus berusaha for my future and for my parents.

~ Mak! Rajin kalau, tlg smayang hajat ye, hehehe ~
~ Abah! Thanks sbb nak hantarkan ~
~ Adik2! I curse u (terutama haziqah) sbb kata aku xkn berjaya! hahahaha ~
~ Amir! Ko pun kne doakan aku, i dunno how but u have to! ~
~ Ikhwan! I tau u mmg akan doakan i, thanks! For our future ya (~.^) ~

Lagi? Hurmm... Kawan time skolah (form 6) dah mengandung! Congrats An! Harap2 dapat anak yang comel dan puteh melepak mcm ur husband ;)
Lizi! Good luck and semoga berjaya dalam PAC Assessment jugak!
Arziana! Selamat Pengantin baru!
Adam! Selamat Pengantin Baru jugak!
Mus! Selamat Pengantin baru jugak jugak jugak!

*musim kawen katakan*

Fate...

1. Is there a reason for falling in love? Why?
2. How does our hearts make the choices?

Yes and No...
Because we tend to like/love someone if they are nice, sweet, handsome or cute, funny, adorable, and the list goes on but this comes back to the question how can all out of a sudden our heart chooses that specific person? Everyone can be nice, everyone can be sweet, everyone can be funny... Am I right?

How can two strangers meet in the middle of the road and fall in love?
How can two life long friends from out of the blue have feelings for each other?
How can two completely different people in a workplace get together?

Questions and questions...
But in the end, when I come to think of it, maybe it is called fate... Orang Melayu kata jodoh la kn? Kn? Hehehehe... Two people meeting and falling in love, completing each other... Happens everyday... So let things happen on their own... Love, life, passion.... No worries, come what may for everything that happens must have a reason behind it...

~ Allah ta’ala sudah berfirman bahawa ketika mana kita berusia 6 bulan di dalam rahim ibu kita sudah ditetapkan kepada kita 3 perkara yakni persoalan ajal maut,rezeki dan akhir sekali jodoh ~

DO NOT LITTER...

I was taking my sis from school the other day and I saw this apek dengan sewenang2nya threw away this plastic he drank out of into the sewer a.k.a longkang... What is it with people littering? Can't they think what they are doing? They are polluting the Earth... Hello people, God gave us Earth to protect not to pollute...

I'm not an angel of not littering, I also did a few times but it was excusable... I can't put something icky and gooey and sticky in my pocket can I? And that apek can easily find a trash can somewhere (i saw there was a trash can nearby) where in my case, there wan't a trash can in sight... Even the smallest paper I put in my bag or pocket... I was taught since I was a kid not to litter... In school (somewhere in the US), that was the basic thing that my teachers taught me... My parents also taught me the same thing... I was shocked when I came to Malaysia and see how dirty this country is... Now, being here more than I've been there, I can see why it is...

Come on people, lets do our part in saving Mother Nature... She's giving us a place to stay... We can at least just try not to litter and pollute this world.... One person makes a difference... I'm not asking to recycle or anything, just DO NOT LITTER... It's not that hard... If I can do it, so can all of the other people out there... Come on and lets save Mother Nature, lets save Earth...

Moving

Here i am...
In Tanjung Malim...
With bad internet connection...
No malls...
No cinemas...
No friends...
Plain lifeless...
Plus jobless and broke...
Its not that i need any money being here and stuff but i also need to feed my phone, right?
Takkan yang tu pun nak ask from parents? Right?
Oh, and I really do need money for my trip, reunion trip with my friends...
(Another reunion but this reunion is reuniting my form 1 friends in Gambir)
(Where i switched schools like 3 times during my secondary schooling eras)
That is gonna cost me about 400 bucks...
Mana mau cekup duit if my pay is still with the PPD?
*sigh*

Being in a town where everybody knows everybody ain't that fun...
Being in a town where I don't even know anybody too ain't that fun either...
I just love Penang, been there since forever and it feels like home...
Missing Penang already, damn...
Somebody from Penang, come get your ass down here and marry me and get me back to Penang!!! HAHAHAHA....
~I wish~

And here I am rambling about God knows what...
I think I'm going crazy?
Am I?
Nah...
Just need to get used to this place and I hope it is better than kL...
I never did like kL much...

Rambling again...

Thinking on what I should do but it still hasn't hit me yet...
(Ok, this is about the job part)
Should i go back to studying?
Or just wait and find a suitable job?
Haruskah aku istikharah on this matter? hmm...
Friends, help me on this thing...
LIZI, YAN, LISA, MUN'IM, AKI and the rest of my blog friends, pls give me the best advise you guys can give... (thank you very much)...

Rambling yet again...

Despite the moving, me being jobless and no love life at all, I am quite happy being who I am, with the family I love...
I am at peace (except when i think about the job n study thingy haha)...

~ THE END ~

* for now ;p *

Passing Thru...

It's been a while not coming and updating my blog...
What happened during the last month?
Nothing much,the same old rutin...
Just another week and I'll be finishing my contract as a guru sandaran...
Dilemma again...
What the hell am i going to do next?

Work?
Xdapat any job that I applied for yet...

Further studies?
But I'm not sure if i should continue my business studies or go another direction which IF I do it will be twice as hard...

Kawen?
Lambat lg...


Kids at school?
Still love them,gonna miss them but sure in another 10 years they surely wont remember me hahaha...

Things at home?
MOVING in another two weeks...
Off to Tanjung Malim...
*urgh,hate moving*

Feelings inside?
Still healing...

Oh,I forgot....
Pre-reunion was the BEST!!!
Love u guys so much...
~lizi~
~hang~
~rin~
~fza~
~naimah~
~dayah~
~intan~
*penyebok named esyam aka johan,ur not that bad,thanks for keeping up with my rude behavior towards u (trying to push him away,thats why,hahaha)*

Overall,I'm doing just fine...
(^_^)

I'm In LOVE!!!!

I'm in LOVE....
I'm falling so in LOVE...
I'm falling for Aiman...
I'm falling for Ariff...
These two cute kids are from my class...
I dont have their pics yet and i hope i can take their pics soon...
I dont know why I have a soft spot for these two kids...
Maybe it's because they "stalk" me and today they got sent to the headmasters office coz ponteng class...
Darjah 2 dah pndai ponteng...
But they skip class just to come and see me teach my Standard 1 kids...
And when recess time, they come to the bilik guru and ngendap2 me there too...
Where ever I go, there they will be...

Nak cte how this happened panjang sangat...
Just enough expressing myself here that I'm gonna be very sad leaving the school in another one month +...
Aiman also told me to stay and dont go...
He said to come and see them once in a while when I leave...
Sangat terharu....
I'm really gonna miss them...
Especially my 2 Sejahtera students...
Really, really, really gonna miss them...

~ am i taking things too personally? ~
~ i cant help it, i just love kids ~