Writings On The Wall...

Scared as a girl can be,
A girl who is lost in time,
Afraid of the future,
Of what holds beyond time.

"Will my life be ok?",
She knows it will be,
However she still wonders,
What will it be.

"Should I just wait?,
Or should I keep trying?",
Two questions that just keep on reminding.

Kalau tak berusaha,
takkan datang bergolek,
Or should she just wait,
and see whats in stake.

She is trying to meet other people,
Trying as hard as can be,
But how is it when her heart is liking someone else?
Could she ever like someone else instead of he?

Moving forward,
Never looking back,
Not waiting,
A second can never be taken back..

Moving on u see,
Is not as easy for me,
But I do fell liberated,
Liberated as can be.

Kisah Di Sekolah Kebangsaan Bukit Minyak...

Bnde baru yg aku telah belajar...
JANGAN BAGI MUKA KAT BUDAK2 KECIK!!!

Al-kisahnye....
Aku sedang "red light"...
And as usual, bila red light, mula la perut aku wt hal...

Aku yg baru 3 minggu menjadi guru sandaran tidak bertauliah mmg sgt disukai oleh anak muridku...
Mana xnye, nmpak je muka aku nk masuk cls "yeay, cikgu nurul masuk"...
TAPI, bila aku masuk, MAIN!!!

Ye, myb i'm not that garang tp bila aku marah pun budak2 tu boleh wt dunno...
X cukup garang gamaknye...
How to be garang dgn budak2 sume tu, diorg sgt la comel...
Xsampai hati nk marah lebih2, anak orang lak tu...

Ok, smbung cte td...
Perut aku wt hal...
Aku mntk tlg budak2 bg kerjasama la kn, aku ckp "cikgu sakit perut"...
Yang sgt bersyukur tu, masa tu smbut Maulud Nabi so they have pertandingan mewarna...
Aku just suh diorg color senyap2 and jgn wt bising...
Tu pun xleh...

Aku senyap *muka tahan sakit perut sebenarnye + geram*....
Ada a few kids prasan and tnye "cikgu dah xlarat ke?"....
Comelnye dua budak yg tnye soklan tu...
Dua budak tu leh kategori murid yg nakal...
Tp pertanyaan mereka tdak ku endah...
Wpun cmtu, ada gak kids yg xpeduli tgk muka cikgu yg tahan sakit dan sedang marah...

Last skali bila dh bising sgt and aku tegur pun diorg x endah.......................
Aku mengamok la *salahkan mood swing periodku*...
Tu pun ada gak yg xkesah...
Boleh lagi sorg budak nie (pmpn) nk sembang2 dgn aku...
Aku suh la dia diam, dh la budak tu amat degil dlm cls, langsung muka cuak...
Aku baik pijak kepala aku, ckp aku xmo dgr...
Padan muka ko...

Tp, yg aku heran, bila aku mengamok, aku satu budak pmpn tu boleh lak menjawab and melawan ckp aku...
Padahal dia xde la masalah sgt dlm cls...
Aku ckp sepatah, dia melawan 10 patah...
Mau je aku hempok, kurang ajar betul padahal baru drjah satu...

Yang budak2 nakal pndai la pulak senyap, takut aku marah...
Yang kira ok pulak yg menjawab and melawan...
Aduh, aku xtau la apa nk jadi...
Budak2 zaman skrg dh lain...
Membuatkan aku rasa tua...

Moral of my story to myself is ~ NEVER masuk cls dan tunjuk baik dgn budak2, kepala kita dipijak2... Baik kita garang dlu, bg diorg takut/respect kita baru berbaik2 dgn diorg...

tagged by mun'im...

tagged again tp oleh kerana sudah cuti sekolah,aku buat je la bnde nk abiskan masa aku kn...
mmg syok woo cuti nie,hahaha...
nie dia,ditag oleh mun'im ;p


PERATURAN TAG:
* Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
* Put it on shuffle
* Press play
* For every question, type the song that’s playing
* When you go to a new question, press the next button
* Once completed, tag 5 other people

DON’T CHEAT!

Opening Credits:
Oasis ~ Live Forever
sweet,hahaha... but i dont wanna live forever, as in the song ;p

Waking Up:
Plain White T's ~ Hey There Delilah
nice slow song to listen bila bgn...

First Day At School:
Blue ~ Guilty
hahaha,xde kaitan...

Puppy Love:
Howie Day ~ Collide
ouch,no more collide2...

Fight Song:
Maroon 5 ~ She Will Be Loved
ye!!! fight for the one u love,hehehe ;p

Breaking Up:
Outkast ~ Hey Ya
thank god for mom n dad for sticking together coz we dont know how....
yup,mmg lagu breakup,hehehe...

Prom:
Fuel ~ Hemorrhage
good thing m'sia xde prom,hahaha...

Life is Good:
Mega ~ Sekuntum Bunga di Gurun Sahara
huh? cmne lagu nie leh ada dlm playlist aku? aku xtau lagu nie,hahaha...
but yup,life is good n sy tdak tau apa yg ada dihadapan sy...
tp akn ku trskn perjalanan hidup mencari keredhaanNya...

Driving:
Exist ~ Hilang Dalam Damai
sgt3 hilang dalam damai bila ada driver lembap!!! hehehe...

Flashback:
Elvis Presley ~ Can't Help Falling In Love
adoi... terasa sakit scr tetiba...
but i know everything will turn out ok :)

True Love:
Samsons ~ Bukan Diriku
i just love this song!!!
true love? is to learn to let go...
sgt sesuai :)


Wedding:
James Blunt ~ Tears and Rain
ceh,nk sgt td lagu shania twain,from this moment...
xde kaitan but ok lah,love this song too...

Moment of Triumph:
P. Diddy ~ I Don't Wanna Know
Gila2 xde kaitan wakakaka...

Death Scene:
Shades ~ Jangan Kau Ucap Selamat Tinggal
aduh...

Funeral Song:
Peter Pan ~ Menghapus Jejakmu
pelik2,hehe...

End Credits:
Harry Nilsson ~ Without You
huh? lg ntah hape2 haha...

siap sedia untuk ditag:
1. Lizi or anakcikmad
2. yan or cikjijah
3. Lisa or cocaholic
4. mun'im,xde sape nk tag dh
5. Anyone lah yg lalu di blog ku ini ;p

EXCITED!!!

Memandangkan sudah tiba cuti sekolah,terdengar sana sini tentang KENDURI...
Yup,kenduri kawen hehe...
21st of March, one of my classmate kot, (classmate kah dia,xingt la hahaha) but an aqauintence is going to get married...
Same age as me, a guy named Syafiqi...
Terkejut beruk aku mendengarnye...
But aku juga berdoa agar jodohnye kekal smpai akhir hayat...
'Till death do them part la kira,hehe...

Tp that does not excite me too much, just shoked me coz, ntah, kwn lelaki aku yg sama umo nk kawen...
Selalu dgr pmpn dlu, br laki2, kn?
But what excites me most is a friend of mine (best of friends,classmates,housemates dll), sudah dirisik and myb today or tomorrow dipinang!!!
Sangat excited, terasa aku lak yg cm nk dipinang hahaha...
But (another but), she is still keeping it low, ye la takut xjadi kn dok heboh2...
Maklum la family yg kenalkan...
Bila dh btl2 confirm, baru heboh and i'll be the one yg dgn ke'excited'an yg amat, akn sebarkan ke seluruh teman2 di facebook dan friendster wakakaka...
Begini rupa2nye how it feels when one of our close friends akn tie the knot...
Padahal bkn tie the knot pun nie, baru nk minang aku dh excited lebih hahahaha...
Xkesah lah, aslkn aku bhgia n dia bhgia ;p

p/s: kepada my friend tu, jgn marah ye ku tulis abt u here... im just so excited,hehehe...

Yet Another Story By Me...

Yet another story by me...

Amir balik, we thought that he wouldnt be coming back...
And when hearing the news that he is coming back, we all thought that he had changed...
Well, that was far from right...
He came back but he didnt even look at my parents even once...
Just masa nk balik kL balik dia ckp "bye" to my parents...
He didnt even stay home at night and spend time with our family...
His coming back only made the our home more huru-hara than normal...
Again making my parents frustrated/kecewa...
Baik xyh balik kn kalau cmtu?

Me?
Not perfect but i know that my parents are everything to me...
Without them and Him, i wouldnt be here...
As unperfect i am, i try to improve myself day to day...
Not much has changed in me but 'till now, alhamdulillah, im doing ok and my parents do trust me...
I dont hear much leteran from my parents anymore...
Dh tua kn, xkn nk kne leter lg kn?
Tp ade jugak la kadang2 tu, mustahil xde, nama pun dok under one roof dgn parents hahaha...
And i do hope that i can stay with them as long as i live...

Work?
Going out great! =)
Love teaching kids...
Their so cute n so honest hehe...
Myb being a teacher aint that bad and it is also not that easy...
The teachers out there must know and understand what i'm talking about and how i feel...

Life?
Is GREAT!
No more trouble thinking about guys...
Occupied by my work and really really, very very malas nk think about this stuff...
When the time comes, i just hope i'll be ready...
;p

Last Two Weeks...

Its been about two weeks not writing in my blog...
And in these two weeks, so much had happened...
Well, not that much but it is kind of a big deal to me...
First of all, i got to be a teacher!!! (^_^)
Walaupun just a guru sandaran but it will be a big opportunity for me to gain some experience and help me in my KPLI or DPLI interview (if i ever get it)...
I never did think i wanted to be a teacher in my "younger years"...
Dulu rasa cm x best la konon...
But now, all grown up, i really wanna become a teacher...
At first i wanted to become a lecturer but than when i got to be a guru sandaran and started teaching these cute little creatures, i really do wanna be a teacher, lebih2 lagi a primary school teacher hehe...

The process:
Monday morning went to PPD Permatang Pasir...
Went thru an interview, took about almost half an hour...
Questions were like s**t, gelabah pnye pasal xdapat nk jawab a few questions...
Tp alhamdulillah, myb he (the interviewer) knew i was all shaky...
He didn't tell me anything, all he did was put my application letter in an envelope, stapled it and said, "Pegi jmpe tuan haji musa dgn mak dibawah ye"...
I was like, (dalam hati) "well,did i like get it or not?"...
Bnde tu pun kne staple, xleh nk bukak and tengok lak...
So, keluarlah saya dari bilik interviewer tersebut and tgk2 my mom sedang sembang2 dgn sape ntah...
Tunggu la mak kt situ for almost 15minutes...
Sebaik sahaja ibuku keluar dari bilik encik ape ntah namanya, kami menuju ke arah pejabat Tuan Haji Musa...
So, once in the room, he opened the sealed envelope...
My heart was pounding to know the results...
One part of me didn't wanna know coz the person in front of me will be telling me if i got rejected...
That would be so embarrassing but what else could i do?...
So, here goes the moment of truth...
"Sekolah mana nak pegi nie?", he said...
Alhamdulillah, i got it, hahaha...
At first he wanted to send to a secondary school but than my mom asked for Bukit Minyak Primary School, so i went there which is also my sister's school and my moms previous school where she had teach before becoming a headmaster...
Tuan Haji Musa said to start on that same day and that was so shocking and freaked me out coz i am not even ready yet hahaha...
I thought i was supposed to start by March, early of the month...
But what the hell, its now or never right?

Oh, I forgot to mention a friend of mine also went to the interview and he also got the job and we started on the same day =)

Lepas teman my friend g bank and makan, we went straight home and to our schools...
The best thing was when i arrived, i talked for a while with the Penolong Kanan and head straight to class, x dapat duduk and tgk syllabus langsung...
Imagine je la how awkward i felt walking in the class...
Naseb la i teach kids darjah satu n dua...
Kalau teach kids darjah 5 ke 6 ke, x ke mati aku hahaha...

After a few days teaching, mmg sangat pening jugak coz majority of my students don't know how to read...
How am i to teach if they don't know how to read, right?
But that will be a challenge for me to keep on going and breakthrough...
At least when i leave that school, the kids learn something from me...
And looking how the kids are with me, i guess they are enjoying my lessons...
I do hope they learn something from me in my lessons...

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This part is about another chapter of my life...
The part where everyone will face in one phase of their life...
The thing i really never thought would happen has happened...
The EX came back yet again...
Just when i just moved on and feeling great with my life...
But i don't really feel anything...
I didn't reply his messages, making excuses that i don't have credit...
Than he called where i picked up coz he has changed his number...
Ade la a few times i didn't pick up so he went on calling my house number instead...
So annoying...

Two days ago he called and being a human being with lots of empathy, i just went on talking to him...
We had a great laugh and chit chatted a bit...
He called me again at 2am, i of course was asleep said i wanted to sleep so we didn't talk...
And he called again yesterday, a few times...
And last night, i couldn't take it anymore so scolded him...
I was really mad for what he had done to me all these years...
Segala kuar la malam td dengan kata2 kesat yg xpenah ku terpikir nk kata padanya...
~kesat tu xde la bermaksud amat kesat but 'p mampuih' tu agak kejam la jgk kn~
And he accepted it and at the same time he told me EVERYTHING, yup, EVERYTHING...
After all the fighting, we forgave each other for what had happen and agreed on being friends...

During all the screaming and fighting a few tears did came out but i tried to hold them back...
How vulnerable he makes me feel till now...
He said he can never get over me even how hard he tries...
I just told him to try harder...
I told him to turn back to the One and he said he is always praying and mengaji'ing but even doing all those stuff he still thinks about me...
So i told him to do solat hajat and istikharah and see how it goes...
I also told him to get back together with 'her' but he said he can't coz even when he is with 'her', he runs back trying to find me again...
Is it all lies? I don't care coz i already told him i am never going back to him again unless he asks my hand in marriage...

What will happen next?
I don't know...
I'm just gonna have to wait and see...
But i am happy now...