Mind vs. Heart

Going thru my blog, I've noticed that this year I wrote a lot. Almost half more then what I wrote last year. Is it good? I dunno. Maybe yes, maybe no. But gong thru it I've noticed how much I went thru. Things I hate, I regret to all the joy and happiness of my life.

So, what am I gonna write about today? Matters of the heart as usual. Like there is nothing else to talk about. I'd write about my family but it's too complicated. Too private. But I do love them till death. Even now my father is lecturing my brother about a business he wants to start up. I would also lecture him if he was asking for my money. OK, forget about that lol. Let me go to a new paragraph...

OK, I've been in love before. Once. Which was with my 1st ex. So now, I know how it feels. But the thing is, now I can't differentiate this love feeling with like or just a crush coz what happened to me happened so long ago. I just wanna know if what I feel now is really love or is it just another crush. I don't wanna make the same mistakes again. This time I want to make things work out. I don't wanna hurt and I don't wanna hurt anybody anymore.

A friend told me my mind is arguing with my heart which I say is true. Out of nowhere I almost said 'I love you' to the guy. I myself was surprised. And from that day on, I really wanted to say it to him. I feel that I do love him but my mind is telling me that maybe its not love. My mind keeps on telling me to be careful not to hurt anybody anymore. And my mind keeps on telling me to really make sure of what I'm feeling. I'm seriously confused.

Is it love?
He makes me happy. Check.
He makes me smile when I think of him. Check.
When I'm around him, I get nervous. Check.
I wait for his text and calls daily. Check.
I worry if I don't hear any news from him. Check.
He's constantly on my mind. Check.
I daydream about being with him. Check.
I miss him dearly. Check.

Are all the above points that I'm in love? Or is it just a phase where one day these feelings fade away? But I do like him a lot. I tell ya, A LOT. And I do miss him now....