Matters Of The Heart...

This must be lame but this is what all teenagers are going thru...
I am glad for what had happen between me and him and also her...
Because if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be this strong...
I also thank our Mighty Lord for giving me the strength to go thru this awful agony kinda feeling...
I never thought that I would be unlucky in love...
All those years I held on was just a waste...
I had always realized that this was just a game to him but i kept on holding on for maybe one day he would notice how much I had loved him...

After all those years of torture, the final decision I took was to turn to God...
That was the wisest thing I did in the whole 5 years with him...
I did some prayers that finally lead me to the truth and at times I wonder why didn't I do this in the first place...
The first time I did the prayer, someone told me about a website, an Islamic website...
The articles cover a lot of topics that we have doubts on and one of it is about teenagers and love...
When I read all those articles, I realized that what I have been doing all this time was wrong and I never knew that taking coz of the lack of knowledge in my own Islamic religion...
While reading some of those articles, came a sense of "keinsafan" in my heart...
I actually cried when I realized of all the sins that I have done and how much He loves us...
All we have to do is have faith in what He has in store for us...
The second day, I got a clear answer about him which I was so glad for...
However, I wasn't torn at all inside...
I felt a sense of freedom and peacefulness in my heart...
And I knew that it all came from Him...
The love we should be searching for is the love in God for trying to find love in another may turn out to be a waste and hurts in the end...
But once that you have found the love in God, He will always be there for you and the feeling is so wonderful and the sense of peacefulness is so alluring...

However, humans will always be humans....
I still have a bit of jealousy in my heart when I think that they are together....
But I wish for their happiness for one day I will too find the happiness, the day my wedding day comes,hahaha...
Tak mo dh cintan cintun nie, menyakitkan je, nk trs kawen je hahaha...
Finally, kuar gak my bhasa melayu,hehehe....