Kawan....

I know this happened quite some time ago and I did not write about it but still sangat terasa. OK, takde kaitan dengan Encik Tunang yang sangat saya sayang tapi tentang kawan. I seriously won't do anything to hurt my friends and if I did, memang secara tidak sengaja. Before I got engaged, they were the most important people in my life besides my family. Still, they are the most important people in my life but bila dah tunang, some things change but that doesn't change the fact that I love them with all my heart.

Talking about terasa, I donno if I should write it. I told Encik Tunang I'm over it but I'm not exactly over it. Actually I dunno how this thing happened. All I know all of a sudden something has changed between me and her. I think it's about a guy. I don't wanna jump to conclusions but seriously I'm engaged and surely won't try to woo another guy. Being friends, yes but more then that, it's jut not me. OK, yes, I texted the guy she liked but when he texted me about a business me and my fiance are doing. Kena la balas kan? But then biasa la, kawan jadi melalut la. Suh cari awek la bagai kan and me kononnya nak be a good friend mentioned my friends name nie. Basically tu je la and he also texted a few times again but because Encik Tunang knew about this and he didn't like it, I stopped. But the day I stopped, was the same day I got an uneasy feeling about my friend. I thought it was not important to tell her coz the way I texted this guy pun bukan nak ngorat kan. I actually can say she is my best friend. I dunno what she thinks of me but I can say that she is one of my bestest friends coz she's been there for me thru think and thin and I tell her almost everything.

Nak cite semua apa yang jadi memang panjang la but basically this happened and boleh la rasa jurang tu. When I asked her about her FB status, she did not say 'No' or 'Bukan ko lah' but she said it was another person but not denying that it was me. Paham tak? Hahahaha... Ayat cam haram kan? I mean I know her too well. If it wasn't me, she'd terus jawab 'Bukan ko lah' or 'Mengarut la hang nie' or stuff like that. And the best part which made me feel it was definitely me was when I told her that I forwarded the guys texts to my Encik Tunang and she text me back saying 'alang2 tu anta la kt aku skali'............................ I don't know what went wrong. Seriously. I have no idea. Should I call or ask her face to face about this or just let it be? Coz I know my niat was nothing but just being friends. How could something like this happen? Or is it just me dok terasa? But I seriously have a strong feeling the person she was talking about in her FB status was me. Orang cakap kalau takde angin, masakan pokok bergoyang kan? Yes, maybe it was my fault layan text mamat tersebut. Yes, that I am guilty TAPI the contents of the messages were strictly just friends messages and I also stated everytime he text me that I am someone's fiance and I love my fiance so much. Seriously I don't know what happened....

OK, dah2 la tu buat luahan perasaan kat blog. I don't get bothered with stuff easily but this thing has been bothering me since it happened. Seriously I love my friends and I would never ever hurt them dengan sengaja. But yes, aku agak terkilan. Terkilan sebab she should know me better.... Tapi pape pun, if tuan badan baca blog aku nie.... Seriously I'm so sorry for whatever thing that I did yang mungkin aku tak perasan yang melukakan ko. Takde niat di hati aku untuk merampas atau mengorat atau mengutuk atau mengata atau menggatal dengan mamat tu..... Sebab nie jugak dan sebab Azlan tak suka, aku memang dah tak balas message mamat tu... Kalau nak tau cite sebenar, you can come and ask me. I can explain every single text that i sent to him. Aku taknak just because of this, our 6 years friendship goes down the drain. You know how much you mean to me kan?

OK lah, I'm done.... Sila jangan rasa saya seperti lesbo pulak ye. Ye, saya sayang sume kawan saya. Saya sayang mereka sampai saya mati. Mereka la penyinar hidup saya suatu ketika dahulu dan saya tidak akan pernah melupakan mereka... *ok,lebih dituju kepada kawan2 arau*